Hey Reader,

I sold my son's blue whale at a yard sale.

He was little. It was in the pile. A young child picked it up, and I let it go for a quarter while Zack watched with tears in his eyes.

Thankfully, he doesn't remember it. But I will never forget it. And I don't wish that on anyone.

Here's what most people get wrong about decluttering and what our clients get wrong too. They start with someone else's stuff.

The kids' toys. Hubby's hat collection. The boxes that were never theirs in the first place.

It feels like helping. It's not.

I know, because it happened to me from the other side.

For years I left four Cabbage Patch dolls at my mom's house — Jennifer, Matthew, Blaine, and Bambi. I can still picture them. One year she was getting ready for a yard sale, figured her minimalist daughter wouldn't want them, and sold them.

She was probably right. I likely would have let them go.

But I wanted to be the one to decide. That's what mattered. And the part she didn't understand.

I've told both of these stories to clients for years, not because they're tidy little lessons, but because they're mine. The loss was real. I still feel it. That's exactly why they land.

Here's the part I want you to hear as an organizer:

It is not your place, and it is not your responsibility, to declutter someone else's stuff for them. Your job is to guide a person back to their own things and then hold space while they decide. There's a time and a place for other people's stuff.

Here's how I coach it:

• Start every client with their own belongings. Never a spouse's closet, never a child's room.
• Encourage them to set a good example for others.
• Remind them that "more is caught than taught."
• Work easiest to hardest through a home. Save the sentimental stuff for last.
• Let the owner decide, on their own terms. A "yes" someone didn't get to make can't be undone.
• Name the "I'm just helping" trap before a client donates something that isn't theirs.
• Tell your own stories. The loss you felt is the reason clients trust you.

The stuff was never the point. Let people choose for themselves because the relationship is more important than the stuff.

Start with your own stuff.

So I'll ask you what I ask my clients:

What stories and advice do you share with your clients from your own lived experience?

Hit reply and tell me.

Until next time,

Amy

P.S. If you're doing this work with clients and you want a thought partner for the hard conversations, the sentimental ones, the ones where you're not sure what to say, that's exactly what my coaching is for.
👉 Book a call and let's talk about how you guide people through what they can't let go of.